welp didn't take the job

Didn't take the job, long story, but its good timing for me to be unemployed... and after this week, my unemployment will be official.

So Fourth of July came and went, we had an awesome weekend of boozing, boating, and being morons. Jim's fireworks display had the entire beach clapping before he disappeared into the night so the fuzz wouldn't find him..

On the saturday night before the fourth, we all went to the Springfield in Sea Isle. I RECOMMEND THIS BAR.. only because there are about 3 bars in the surrounding area of ocean city, and this one... which is a dive, is the least dive-y-est of them all... if that makes sense. The Live band that played mixed each song right into one another to keep the party going... they even wore blonde wigs when they covered Lady Ga Ga.... who needs to pay 200 dollars for a ticket to her show, when you can see her music covered in a sweaty bar in sea isle for 5 dollars...

Sunday was spent tubing, hands down, the best day of summer so far. Drinking PBRs with Pat, my cousins, Kat and some germans, we let our skin burn and swam in the bay... while being attacked relentlessly by green heads.

As for the past week, I've been doing the single mom thing, making masks out of play-doh, ironing beads together in the shape of snow flakes and beach umbrellas, going to the pool and more importantly taking a night to the beach.

Yeah, so last week i took the girls to beach, where I proceeded to fall asleep for 2 hours on the beach while they played... sooooo responsible.

We went on some rides on the boardwalk... one being Double shot... its that ride where you sit in a harness, they lift you up a couple stories in the sky and drop you. I LOVE THIS RIDE.. I CANT EVEN TELL YOU.. but of course i nervously laugh and scream the ENTIRE time I'm on it. Olivia and I were on the boardwalk sign and the ENTIRE BOARDWALK stopped and stared at me, probably thinking I was like lit on fire or something with how loud i was.


This weekend, I went back to the shore ... duhh... I waited for my mom to get off of work on friday so i could drive with her down in my new car! The entire time though i think i made her nervous as i saw her bracing and reaching for the clutch everytime i went around a turn.... When i finally got down atoud 11:30 i got dressed quickly and olivia, amy, kelsey, mike, mark, and kevin went to Atlantic City for the night to do some gambling, and I DDed. I lost 15 bucks in a penny slot.... whatever, haha and decided to play black jack for the first time, $15 minimum. I threw a Benny on the table and set up my first hand... Dealer hit 21... off the bat.. okayyy i thought i'll try again... So i put another $15 down, and AGAIN the dealer fucking hits a queen and an ACE... WHAT THE HELL ... i think that was an omen.. So i cashed in the rest of my chips and we hit up the bar in the middle of Harrahs, which i actually really like. After being carded literally 5 times at the bar.. even though i was only drinking water all night, we decided to try to go to the Pool Bar for an hour or so... While making our way there... it was no shit puke-fest 2010. WE must have seen 3 different girls throwing up, and throw up all ove hte floor on the way there... it was a turn off to the bar, so we decided to just head home... with 45 dollars less than i came.. but atleast a good time.

unfortunately, it rained all of saturday, but it wa okay, i was feeling pretty lazy anyways. My parents and I went out to the Inlet for dinner, i had Sangria in hopes that Spain would win the world cup (and they did!! felicidades, espana!) and just had a mellow night on my porch with Mike, Mark, Tim, Jake, adam and of course olivia, just drinking a few beers... icing jake.. and just hanging out, and going to bed early.

Sunday was amazing, Josh picked me up and we went surfing for a few hours... IM SO SORE.. Im definitely not used to it, but it was soo fun, caught several nice waves, but the undertow was sooo strong, i had to call it quits by 3.

anyways, if you've never tried surfing, you definitely should. Its one of the most incredible feelings ever.

well im off to entertain the kids--> TIGER BEATS TONIGHT, if anyone is interested!!

much love, Have a great week

xoxo, gossip girl

NEW JOB: BRINGING NERDS TO EMPLOYMENT

THATS RIGHT- I got a job... look at me, new car, new job, now I just need to move out of my parents basement...

no literally... i'm living in their basement. This morning i made myself breakfast and watched an episode of full house before i had to come in to babysit... thats what we like to call REGRESSION... I am reverting, slowly, back to my childhood...... full house was even being played on a station called TEEN NICK... (equivilant to our generations "SNICK") I've also been going to bed around 10pm... seriously, its like someone pushed me into a time machine and I've reverted back to my awkward teen years... living vicariously through DJ and Steve's love life.

anyways... this new job... which i will from here on refer to as bringing nerds to employment... is as a head hunter. Basically, I talk to IT doods and find out what they want, see if their not happy at their jobs and try to get them something that makes them happier or that pays more.. and then i steal a percentage of their income.. BOO YAH. haha

Sooo... speaking of being a child. Today I am taking the girls i babysit to see ECLIPSE... oh Edward sooo dreammyyy
(i've totally bought into the twilight stuff.... in fact I haven't even read the last book because i just dont want it to ever be over...! GUILTY)


well Everyone, happy hump day!

I cannnnoottt wait for this weekend in Ocean City, Seriously all of my favorite people are going to be there :D

I dont have any final line about something fun and exciting to do in the city this week... but thats okay because you should all be seeing Eclipse anyways... everyday... all day...

one-love

THIS JUST IN: if you're still in work and trying to kill the last 25 minutes until the weekend-- THEN THIS BLOG IS FOR YOU

So once again, because nothing ever happens in this lame ass city, I ventured to New York City last weekend to visit my friend steph with liz.

If you ever go to the BIG CITY and are cravin' some mexicana (comida not chica- get your head outta your ass) then you HAVE GOT TO TRY THIS PLACE IN MID TOWN. "BLOCK HEADS"-- Not only was the food unreal ( and for a reasonable price.. i mean relatively speaking, we were in NY) but they have these BANGA-LICIOUS Margaritas, they don't fuck around. It has a great bite of tequila, which you can also upgrade for a low cost- I personally like to taste the tequila in my marg.... because if not, i'll end up with a massive sugar-induced head ache/ stomach ache... HELLOOO i'm ordering a margarita not a smirnof ice... ahhhduhh. But I also tried this really great margarita... it was frozen and had a carona pouring slowly into it... LIKE MAGIC. they wedged the lime in the carona at the most perfect angle to get the taste of beer and margarita... you might think this sounds gross but in fact it was fan-fucking-tastic.

Anyways, after dinner, we walked the streets towards the subway... some carrying a tune while i was carrying a food baby in my belly... seriously ate so fucking much, hopped onto the subway towards queens. thanks to the trusty- iphone (no mac does not sponsor this blog) we found the biergarten (thats german for beer garden... i think) in Astoria where we road that buzzing wave and downed pitchers ($15) of delicious hefeweizen, hoegaardens, and much .... much more. When we started to get a little bored (frustrated that boys weren't talking to us) We decided to make our own fun... and meet some people while we did it...

...claiming we were reporters for the main line times, we asked how people found out about the beer garden and why they came, and if they knew any other little "gems" in queens... thats right, and people bought it.

holding back laughter and somehow managing to keep a straight face we were charming while being convincing.... We asked for a "picture and a quote" from about 5 different groups of guys... here are the best ones we got.




**quick note, so liz was taking notes on her black berry and e-mailing me the quotes... this is a copy of one of the emails she sent me**

"Little secret of astoria" - nick--> They have cars. "Its not bad. My bro lives in astoria. Its not too bad. U have to pay during peak hours. But afterr that hmm" He's a cutie laura. Ill say it. "Weekends are free. Honestly this is my first time here. I meet a lot of ppl. Always got a friend in philly."

Some more quotes:

"Haven't inspected it much. " "Intamate. Can talk and chill. Outside and nice." "Everyine part of a bar. Not limited. More spread out. Like eurpoe "

"I've bever been to eupore but it feels eurpoean. The beer garden is it" -andrew and jonathon

"Drink cranberry and vodka when you come here. Pregame. If you're old get a beer" jonahathon (hahaha)

"Its a real change. Its fresh. From boring NYC bars. Casual atmosphere."- joe from brooklyn


Here's when the quotes start getting a little more aggressive... i think people were sort of getting drunk and starting to really believe we were legit.... this one guy was REALLY not into the fact that i kept saying "well Daddy got me the job at the Paper.. and he flew us out of philly to new york for this weekend... yep all on his dime..."

"Now you've justivied your newspaper as something that sucks... "

"The original RAYS is in coney island. Suppsodily original rays in jerzeeeeee citayyyy" --- that argument went on for a while... i have no idea what the fuck rays is...

Quoting a line in liz's email...
"The fightins. Shout out. Mheach 1. This homebou had been cited. Has noot been cited but 4 stories stolen from his blog*** . Laura u told me to star this."

I have no idea why i wanted that starred...



So thats when we pretty much stopped, at one point we tried to tell people we were just making the whole thing up but i guess we must have done a really good job because they didn't believe us!

I will be emailing the people who quoted us... i hope you're not too dissapointed when you realize its just my blog!!--> BUT SUBSCRIBE, COMMENT, YELL I DONT CARE JUST FOLLOW ME haha and tell your friends


----------
so enough about new york, lets talk about philly. Wednesday I headed into the city again for Center City sips... If you're trying to sweat your ass off and rub elbows with Philadelphia's finest yuppies (suburbia's graduates really making it big... gag me...) then Ladder 15 is the place for you!!! It's a two story high school reunion of 20-somethings- pushing and shoving to get as many 2 dollar blue moons as possible in 2 hours.... so after about 2 beers.. we peaced.


-----
which is what I am going to do now.

feel free to join me at Mad River tonight in Old City from 8-10, $5 cover, for dollar drinks and dollar beers... however i drink fo' free... and you probably can too... you're basically guaranteed a free 2 hours of drinking on some friday night if you fill out a card for it.

check ya self befo' you wreck yo'self.

For the record, i didn't re-read this blog, so forgive me of type-os and errors and just plain lame-ness this week

"Not only am I funny... but I like sports... think about it..."

...so Jo and I have been on this biking kick.

I really never thought of myself as a biker before... I mean, ocean city I would cruise occasionally... but that's a bit different- a fixed gear beach cruiser and the island is completely flat... The bike is really only used to get me from one party to the other faster... or wawa... yummm- compared to my dad's bad ass mountain bike.

Anyways, so after not biking for about a week, Jo and I sucked wind in Wissahickon (sp?) trails-- you know the one that parallels lincoln drive. Well anyways, its TOUGH TERRAIN.. i mean sometimes there are even ROCKS in the path and other times, we cross over BRIDGES. THATS hardcore.

Oh and there was an incident. I dont know if I should talk about it. Let's just say, one poor little chipmunk may he rest in peace... Jo and I were busy gabbing about God knows what to notice this poor little chipmunk that ran under jo's wheel, until it was too late. Both of us SCREAMED at the TOP of our lungs, nervously laughed- because both of us have zero tact when it comes to reacting to situations like these... and i practically had to hold Jo back from doing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on little Alvin.

I like to think that Alvin lived a fulfilled life in those woods... playing amongst the trees. but honest to god I think the rodent must have had a death wish, like WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!

So tonight, If you're tiger beating or bar-hopping, pour some out for our homie Alvin. one-love.



So a quick recap on my weekend.

Friday night I had to babysit until about 11. That's right I got to go see Shrek in 3-D on the woman I work for's dime. So me and the girls go to chipotle first, and me, being cheap, suggest we fill up our sodas and sneak them into the theater... welll you can imagine how that went. Lily offered to hold two sodas in her purse, which she would strategically wrap in a sweatshirt... that's right, I relied on a ten year old to hold two full fountain sodas .... THEY BARELY HAVE LIDS... by the time we got to our seats her bag was leaking diet soda... all over her nintendo DS and ipod... i get it people- i ruined a girls weekend because i was trying to save a dollar. Well I think it turned out okay, we put the DS and ipod in rice when we got home and everything thing seems kosher today.

so it was late and i was tired but My parents went to the shore... and i HATE staying in that house alone, so I proceeded to fill a water glass to the rim with grape juice (wine), drink the grape juice (wine) as quickly as possible, and pass out watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother, with purple stained teeth...

Saturday I went into the city with mike and brett for cheesesteaks and the USA v England game. I do know why but I recently have been really into watching sports at bars.... Its actually fun. I went to Drinkers for the Stanley Cup, which was awesome, until we lost... then it was just awkward.

Anyways... this brings me to saturday night.

Liz came over and we made road sodas for our train ride into the city. Basically 1 part sprite 2 parts gin, and practically bar hopped from suburban station to old city, first we stopped in continental- split a 10 dollar martini which was excessively sweet, peaced out to drinkers, where i eye-fucked the bartender hoping he'd give me a free PBR............ paid for my PBR, ran into a friend I know from intramural basketball, cabbed it to drinkers in old city (because we went to the wrong one... ) got a beer there, attempted to follow liz's brother and his friends to a mystery club called "Q" but instead shifted missions to crash a girl who graduated two years before me's bachelorette party ...(congrats tina!) Cut the line at said bar, no idea which one, and liz and I bet each other a high-five to see who could get the most numbers. I got 3 i think- only one of these numbers should actually count (thanks bryan!) haha- I have some number I saved in my phone as "A" and a british guy's number who i proceeded later to text "not only am i funny... but i like sports... think about it brit." WHAT!?!? hahah happens. lets just say I'm still pending his response...


Alright, I'm keeping this one shorter. Hopefully I'll be more disciplined about writing, but who am i kidding.

It has literally been a month

So it's been one whole month since I last updated this blog ... completely unacceptable.

So this past month what have i done?

babysat every day - went on about 5 interviews - got a job offer - declined the job offer - didn't get any other offers - completed my senior seminar presentation - made a flower pot in ceramics - ruined said flower pot because im a moron - saw ludacris live - stayed up all night - finished classes - got decent grades - refused to pay parking tickets at school - school is now withholding my diploma - graduated - almost thought I was missing a class (thanks black board) - raged in AC with the pechin pack - lost my shoes - foot bled - stopped by security guard because foot was bleeding - and then had 100 of my closest family and friends over for a joint graduation party with my brother yesterday.

that about sums it up. But i think i have to go into some more details about this weekend.

My brosef- see what i did there... combined brother and joseph, my brother pat had 5 friends come visit philadelphia, 4 were from germany and had never been so we went out in center city. After excessive amount of beer and vodka, we headed to south street for bob and barbaras. THE SPECIALS THERE ARE INCREDIBLE! IF YOUVE NEVER BEEN ITS a GREAT dive bar but its super crowded with no space anywhere to function. But they have a 3 dollar special (YES EVEN ON FRIDAYS) for PBR and a shot of whiskey. so obvi i got drunk and kept buying them for people.

Well instead of going home, which would have been the smart thing to do, we decide with 20 minutes left until the bars close to head over to drinkers, because u can get a 40oz there for cheap. boarder line blacked out, we lose one of the germans, but its okay because he was "on 15th street" unable to find a cross street or anyone who could help him. So jim rolls up in the suburban, and 9 of us pile in, wrecked, searching the streets for Roman.

Saturday night we went to my house in manayunk (which is soon to be over :( no more lease) and rage at kildares and cuddy's. another great night, where we ended up at main street munchies hoovering cheese steaks and fries- where we discovered the future president of the united states, pat's thesis partner. Proceeded home to watch Land of the Lost and I fell asleep sititng up clutching a stuffed animal. classy.

So sunday was the party, soo much fun, so many people showed up and we had a really great time. Some people swam, i proceeded to keep a steady buzz the entire time and rub elbows with cousins and family i hadn't seen in ages. I love when the Thornton's get together, its always hilarious.

Since I am currently unemployed, when I was asked what the next step was, I joked that I was currently working as a single mother (babysitting) and that I would be moving in with my new room mates Jim and Cheryl (my parents) but it was great cause I met them on craigslist and utilities were included in the cheap rent. :D probably used that joke more than dane cook uses his growing up catholic joke.. but i think it killed.

Welp. today i dropped my cousin off at my grandparents retirement home. That place is LEGIT. not only do they have bangin' food, BUT they live in a building with ALL OF THEIR FRIENDS. ITS LIKE COLLEGE.. BUT BETTER, cause you dont have to go to class or wake up early and you can have pets! talk about living the DREAM.

i love them so much too, my grandma just bought an Apple computer... thats right my 83 year old grandmother is using mac's.... shes amazing!

Thats all for now!

tiger beats tonight with my fam! Larry, Jim, Nicole (pat has to be in DC tomorrow so he can't come) and jo percy and corey and anyone else who wants to come!

Thats all for now... I want to rip off Philip DeFranco's vlog and start asking a question of the day or something to get people commenting and talking... any suggestions on something similar to that? For now i'll ask quesitons:

Question of the dia:
Do you Gleek?

WOO RESULTS ARE IN

WOO HOO thanks to our friends on blogspot, the anonymous survey results are in!


7 out of 8 people occasionally or DO read my blog! THATS a HIGH percentage! thats 87.5% noooiiicceee



Yesterday i went to lenscrafters to get an eye exam and new glasses and contacts. that right. lenscrafters. After smooth talking with the sales associate i got 50% OFF MY TOTAL PURCHASE! THATS TWO PAIRS OF GLASSES- one pair of ray bans that he insisted needed the best quality lenses (which is why he gave me the discount.. well that and my charming personality) and new lenses in my old glasses! thank you very much. (here's another tip- lenscrafters is surprisingly cheap also- right now u can get 30% off ur purchase even without being a member of AAA... its pretty legit)

whoever said i didn't have game before can SUCK ON THAT

thanks jamal! I will one day find a way to pay it forward- something that is either equal or exceeds that 50%... or maybe i'll just do something 50% of the way nice for someone...

eh either way i win.

check ya on the flip- last week of classes coming up, senior pig roast tonight. can't wait.

OHHH and tonight- Thursday nights on South Street are always fun, check out bob and barbara's for a gay 'ol time... literally, its drag night-- went once before its sooo fun! very entertaining and i THINK $5 special thats a shot of whiskey and a PBR... not to shabby.

live ya life. eyyyhhh

There's always money in the Banana Stand...

So i went into hibernation for about 30 hours... why? because i'm a huge procrastinator this semester. I have 2 paper left of my college career... and they're not even that difficult... but of course this most recent one (due today) i put off until the last minute. After spending all day sunday................ i mean monday.......... reading the book i had to write the paper on i stayed up all night working on it. It turned out okay i think... D'S GET DEGREES thats all i'm saying...

I would have spent sunday working on it but I went to a Caron Foundation fund raiser... more like a FUN-raiser! it was a comedy show, get it... i'm being funny? play on words... the comedian was funny, some of the references to childhood are always classic, but i have to tell you I reallllllyyy dislike fat jokes. ESPECIALLY when the comedian is the skinniest guy in the entire world... i find them cheap, and an easy laugh (however, i did no such thing) and its like, clearly he was funny so I'm sure if he worked a little harder he could think of funnier things than a woman's weight.

wahhh wahhhh debbie downer

So this weekend SPRING FLING, like i promised.

talk about FLASH MOB! About 100 sju kids piled onto the R5... if you happened to be on the R5 around 10:10pm on saturday night then you would have been serenaded by an acapella (spelling?) rendition of "sweet child of mine" posing off of the Step Brothers movie... if you haven't seen this scene.. (hah. seen. scene) check it out: you won't regret it. i wish i had captured our sweet serenade on tape.




Walked into a house on the first corner we saw... live band which was legit, and they didn't make us pay for cups...( probably cause this is the only week of the year that the ivy leaguers party...) what? i said it....


If you've never been to an uptight, stuffy, Waspy bar then you definitely need to try Smokes. Located in University City near Penn's campus the elite jocks meet to sip on their gin and tonics and make fun of the girls dancing. OH and don't bother requesting a song... they wont play it.... bastards. HOWEVER, i was impressed by the $1 cover... not to shabby for a saturday night (and the music really wasn't bad)...

But did i let these judgey ivy-leaguers bother me? NEVER. Tina and I danced the night away.. FIRST on the dance floor thank you very much... not giving a SHIT about what anyone thought, at one point I believe words were exchange something along the lines of "GET OUT OF HERE. STAY AWAY FROM MY FRIENDS" when someone's back was turned..........



Well party people. I'm off to class. Enjoy your 4/20 responsibly. (had to say it)