Healthcare, weddings, tiger beats, OH MY!

THERES A LOT TO CATCH UP ON! I AM SORRY!

Welp, I've been extremely busy these past 10-12 days. I have a huge project coming up, sort of a mock trial type thing on the Health Care Reform, only mines a little different- ours hypothetically does not allow for exemptions based on religion and I am defending the government from those crazy amish up in lancaster county who hypothetically claim it is a violation of their free exercise.

I actually really don't want to write about this anymore because it's all i've thought about for a very long time.

Anyways, I babysat a total of 25 hours last week on top of school and other commitments, but did I let that stop me from going out? NO

After 8 hours straight of sitting friday night with 2-3 of those hours consumed by CLUE with a 10 and 11 year old... I realized that I could care less if it was Ms. Peacock or Ms. Scarlet in the ballroom or spa with the rope or trophy..... THATS RIGHT a TROPHY talk about exposing your children to violence at a young age as a contemporary issue. Hasn't clue been around for a while, maybe even before excessively graphic and violent video games... i mean in the game a woman could LITERALLY KILL YOU WITH A TROPHY.... it freaked me out.

Anyways, after that I needed a drink, I booked it home to change, then to pick up some kids before a party where I proceeded to play catch up with a 40oz and 3 shots of whiskey in an hour.... after a quote-battle from Summer Heights High with an off-the-boat Australian I passed out in Jams top bunk (thats right, bunk beds!!! talk about classic sleep overs.) but not before having pillow talk about tonsillitis? I can't really remember....

When I woke up at around 6:30 am, I had to play that game in my head called "where am i and do i need to be home early today?" and the answer to the latter was YES- you have a wedding to go to with your family!

I booked it home, showered, and after a stressful yelling session with my siblings and parents to "get to the church on time"... what wedding starts on time anyways. OH THIS ONE DID. We stopped so I could grab stockings, which ended up being "nude" and by "nude" i think they meant 10 shades darker than Snookie herself.... highlighted by my teal shoes, was quite the sight against my paleness of the rest of my body.

After taking full advantage of the open bar, the Thornton's hit the dance floor to dance to some classic wedding beats such as "Brick-house"... we managed to have a crowd around us, something new and different the Thornton's having to be center of attention-- it was a blast.

After my parents left, Pat and I continued to take full advantage of the bar.... and it was soon time to leave.

I passed out in the car, but not after making my brothers promise to wake me and rally so we could head over to ... wait for it-- TIGER BEATS at the BARBARY MY FAVORITE THING EVER!

I'm pretty sure I stole clothes out of my dirty hamper and didn't care... AT ALL-- It was really entertaining making pat attend a dive bar... especially when he's hammered. I think it was his first experience with the "hipster-scent" thats right SCENT not SCENE.... probably for the first 45 minutes he looked like he was going to throw up because of some hipsters body odor... something i think i'm getting used to (although at the Danger Danger Gallery earlier in the week, I some how I always get stuck next to the smelliest kid at shows...) although this time it was pat's turn hahahahahhe had is mouth covered and made me change places with him any time the Stinkster (my new word for smelly hipsters) danced a little too close

We danced until last call, and proceeded to Ginos (or was it pats.... i dunno i didn't get out of the car) where i split a cheesesteak with Kat and PASSED THE FUCK out in the backseat in the perfect blend of food coma, sweat, and drunken exhaustion (yes head rolled back mouth wide open)**correction added to satisfy Kats comment** not before I covered myself in an igloo of coats and other articles of clothing found in the back of the passat that is missing all 4 hubcaps...

I woke up in the middle of the night, SO THIRSTY I ran into the bathroom and rummaged around for something that could hold water (difficult to see when you fall asleep in your contacts and they leave your eyes dryer than the Sahara)... all i could find were those budget Dixie shot-glass size cups... and i took shots of water alternating hands until i was satisfied enough to fall back asleep.

Welp. Hope everyone's weekend was a splendid as mine. I can't wait for April 6th because then all the hard work in college is basically over, and I can go to tiger beats every monday night :D



keep it real.

L-Train

scotch and splenda. tastes like splenda, gets you drunk like scotch.

okay okay, so not only did i steal that quote from the office, but I stole off a "buzz" on google buzz my friend Liz posted.

but its hilarious. the office is hilarious. liz is hilarious. so it had to be done.


WELP- Its that time of the year when we can all pretend that its socially acceptable to be induced into puking from alcohol before noon: SAINT PATRICK'S DAY! ow ow!

Gonna hit up Kiladares, went last year, pretty legit, irish cover band, I'm into that.

I think I'll get drunk and post another blog later tonight. should be interesting.

Goal tonight: get everyone in the bar to do what I call the Shamrock Shuffle............... if you have to ask, then you'll never know.

Silante!

xoxo,
gossip girl

high-jackings and roman gods

Tragedy.

The other day I was driving home from a lecture at the art museum. Excited to show off the area where I am tentatively living next year to my friends.

It was raining, pouring rain, and as I was leaving (driving around the circle at the parkway) I saw said lecturer walking with her big podium and tons of books and decided to offer her a ride to the bus/home wherever she needed to go.

As I left the car running, I had to move tons of things into my trunk (I get it I'm a slob... sue me... no don't sue me) so she could fit in the back seat. As I desperately searched for the buckle as the rain fell even harder, an unassuming man peeked his head through my door and said "I'll be just one minute..." Confused by this statement I saw him hop into the front ready to pull away IN MY CAR! Thank God the person riding shot gun kicked him in the face and we quickly... miraculously, sped away.

Next thing I know? I'M IN ROME!!

Then I woke up. Be honest, if I had told you this was a dream in the beginning you would have stopped reading. No one actually cares about other persons dreams. As soon as someone goes "ooo I had the WEIRDEST dream last night" you immediately zone out and begin to think about whatever dream you had the night before....

peace&love

Day light savings... losing an hour and my dignity.

So Friday night I ended up at Drinkers in Center City, where I drank a classy 40oz to freedom... Again, another bar that took me back to my high school days as they play the soft tunes of taking back sunday and saves the day. Me and the DJ had a moment. Well I thought it was a moment. He just thought it was annoying.

Eventually we ended up at voyeur.......... it was fine. Paid a 12 dollar cover to be surrounded by sweaty dudes rubbing up against each other.

Anyways,

Yesterday my roommates and I headed into the city for our personal version of the "erin express," I referred to it as the shamrock shimmie... With bags over our feet (well I wore my industrial size boots that make my whole body about 10 degrees warmer-- which on the train didn't seem like a problem but once we got into the bar.... sweat-town) we played cheers to the governor (a great drinking game thats really easy and funny to do and everyone should learn how to play) shouting out 69! and Happy St. Patty's Day, thinking our hilarity entertaining to all... when in reality is obnoxious.

We arrived at the Irish Pub on 12th and Walnut, where it was so hot the walls were sweating, as well as my feet. After buying ourselves one round, we proceeded to fill our drinks with beers from our purses..... classy girls.

As we booked it to the train we ended up missing it and had to take a cab home... but not before col "relieved" herself on suburban stations ground- sort of a fuck you to the train leaving with out us.

Came home, stuffed my face, power napped, and rallied to JDs in Manayunk... where I only spent a little over an hour before- I burned myself out this week, but not before I saw more high school friends, and one from grade school too. Its always really great seeing how people really come into themselves in college. Especially when you don't see someone for so long, its like someone hit the fast forward button. Kit has this really great Kurt Cobain thing going on and Chris sort of a professor type that rocks cowboy boots.

This reminds me, I'm reading Chuck Klosterman's new book "Eating the Dinosaur." He does this crazy comparison of Nirvana's "In Utero" to the David Koresh crisis that occurred in Waco, Texas. Although, he is only comparing them because they happened to occur in the same year, Klosterman makes a point that both Cobain and Koresh were God-figures who are an interesting example of human nature. "It is fascinating and stupid to see adults destroy things on purpose." Cobain, attempting to separate his true followers from the rest of America (by creating a CD that no one would actually enjoy, or so he thought), destroyed himself for that failure. Koresh was destroyed by others (the compound in Waco was destroyed by a fire-- Klosterman believes the US government burnt it down, but no one has ever been able to figure it out) for succeeding at the same goal.

It is crazy how destructive we truly can be to ourselves and others.

SPRING BROKEN

After much demand... I'M BACK

No I'm joking... kinda, well Last January I did attempt to create a Vlog, which was my new years resolution. Within the less than 3 minute segment I vowed to not make the Vlog anything like journals I always tried to start in the past... Where I inevitably maxed out by January 3rd... proving my inability to commit to anything. Well the blog's life span was even shorter lasting only one lonely pilot episode, however hilarious if I do say so myself.

So anyways, SB2K10! ow ow!

So far this week has consisted of my friend Corey and I romping around Philadelphia in hopes of discovering new bars, new food and new people throughout the different "neighborhoods" in Philly.

Sunday night, March 7th consisted of me catching up with high school friends at the Great American Pub in Narberth, somewhere I have lived near for my entire life yet I have never ventured inside. The awkwardly drunk 50-something bartender (apparently a local "narbies" favorite) made it a point to lift his shirt up ever 5-10 minutes to show off an excessively hairy belly and rant and rave about the philosophy of Tom Jones as we watched the Oscars on 6-7 flat screen tvs... it was weird, to say the least.

Monday night-- the highlight of my week thus far, my new friend Kat hosted an art exhibit at Hinge Cafe in Port Richmond. The heat from the faux fireplace mixed the tall hipster boys, free gallons of red wine and the smooth sounds of Clean Equations (check them out on myspace- they rocked) caused my face to literally radiate awkwardness... (its cool I have a sip of red wine and my cheeks flush like a virgin on prom night). Pretending to panick that the leggings that corey was wearing were an actual "jungle cat! watch out!" and waved like a dope at boys I met the week before, prevented me from spitting any actual game.

Shortly after my parents arrived my dad... ironically dressed up in clothes I've never seen him in, a Ireland t-shirt, plaid wool blazer and kakhi pants (if he had been 40 years younger he would have fit right in with the hipster-scene), had to leave because he was sweating and had successfully made himself known with his booming voice and inappropriate humor.

As I began to feel tipsy I looked over only to see a boy I went to high school with ( a year older, who I randomly made out with several times back in 2004) taking 20 minutes to decide if I should say hello to him or if he'd even remember me. Several more glasses of wine later I gained the courage and we played catch up for several minutes...

As quickly as the art show began it ended, and we soon created an after party of our own, outside, finishing the remains of the vino and heading over to Barbary's in NoLibs. The mix of songs ranging from "Psycho Killer" by the Talking Heads and Blur's "woohoo" made for a perfect dance party (Typically, in manayunk dance parties look more like a grind-fest rap music video, where people go to black out and put out...) After "mom-dancing" the DJ struck the perfect chord and played Saves The Day's "At Your Funeral" not only one of my favorite songs, but we had recently attended their show not only 3 weeks before. As I jumped for joy and bopped around I soon found myself head over heels with excitment.. seriously, fell so hard.. however, grateful I was not the only one... Jim had the remains of a dirty foot print on his kakhis to prove it. The clock struck 3 and it was time to go, Corey and I hailed a cab and continued our adventure home having accidents in the foyer and waking up her entire building in a drunken stooper.

Tuesday, a day to redeem ourselves.

After spending the entire day with Corey driving all around first to NoLibs for an organic breakfast at "Honey's Sit-and-Eat" (FANTASTIC LATKAS) to Plymouth Meeting to play with puppies, our new "friends"(i use the term friends loosely as I have become exponentially more tongue-tied every time we've hung out with them) allowed us a chance to redeem ourselves from the previous night's drunken mess I call "a killer time"... and invited us to the dark basement of Voyeur to see a DJ called Snaxx. I dont know if it was the uncomfortable drunk I got off of 2 tall boys of Sparxx or the Outback Steakhouse meal I had for dinner but the DJ seemed to mix the perfect amount of beats, drumming and spanish that virtually impressed the fuck outta me. Besides the co-ed bathroom, where when you went to sit the door was so close to you, your knees had to be up by your ears, it was all in all a pretty gnarly night.

Wednesday, Is the POPE catholic?

In this case not really... sticking to our plan to keep it real and try new places out all week, we "yelped" (a website where restaurant goers can submit their own reviews for anyone to see) for a good 25 minutes and corey and I decided we wanted to go the Pub on Passyunk East (aka THE POPE). Styled with a crazy amount of beers and the smooth sounds coming out of the Juke Box, POPE might be my favorite place yet. And the best part? Spent the entire night catching up with my two friends from high school (one being said boy I ran into on monday at the art show), yes now that I am clearly a funnier and less awkward person in writing I grew a pair and posted this on his wall referencing that if he came to POPE he might get lucky and we can make out to the Lincoln Park- Jay-z mash up in the back of mikes car haha. Both him and Mike came and played catch up... (ie. no make out).

So we parted our ways, and I set home to finally get some much needed sleep.

Thursday, the night I refer to as "chill"

After much debate about which new place to try, Corey and I decided to force our friend Ashley to come out to Cantina's on East Passyunk (apparently our new favorite street...) in South Philly to split a pitcher of Margaritas and shit all over boys. The place was beautifully lit with year-round christmas multi- color twinkle lights and an eclectic array of music booming from it's juke box. Jim showed up and we dished about his ex's for a while, always super-entertaining, and his get-rich-quick scheme to beat "The Man" in Atlantic City. When it came time to pay the bill they offered a questionairre to our table, which i quickly jumped at-- some questions including:

favorite food: Small Babies

favorite song to get drunk to: Psycho killer- talking heads ( a song that has been in my head for about a week now)

favorite song when drunk: MACARANA (sp?)

comments?questions? : The waiter with the blue-gray plaid shirt and tight skinnys is totes-adorbs ;-)

(please flip over)

on the other side: a budget- 3rd grade style picture of me and the waiter holding hands, depicting his shaggy hipster beard and skinny jeans.... along with my e-mail address..

...he never emailed.. weird....

Welp. Today is now Friday-- a day that I spent hunting for steals at the thrift store with money i do not have.... However, today is ALSO pay day!! woo hoo-- and tonight will be the one flaw in our week of new places... we're heading back to Voyeur in the gayborhood near washington square... as they are hosting "Making Time" apparently something thats worth $12 to see, however they are offering quite the steal: from 9-11 PRB and Sparxx are included in the $12 cover.

HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE.

kthanksbye