Have You Hugged a Septa Driver Today?

My morning consisted of a LOT of public transportation with a LOT of my fellow public transitors (notice how I not only made up a word here, I used “-or” instead of “-er"...everyone knows that nouns that end in “-or” are MUCH classier...)Apparently, the R5, or now “for our convenience” is simply called the “Paoli/Thorndale Line”, didn’t feel like making the usual express run from Bryn Mawr. People were SCRAMBLING to get on the train at Narberth. I’m pretty sure the conductor shouted “Women and children first!” as people piled on. Chivalry being LONG dead at this point, left poeple pushing and shoving, trying to finagle their way to stand into any crevice (yup- I went there) possible… seriously. By the way, adding to the stress, the train was 10 minutes late-normally this wouldn’t be a big deal. Normally people give themselves some grace time to get to work.

Normally.

Me? Nope.

I take the latest train possible that gets me to work with like 2 minutes to spare if it runs on time… which it never does.

I get it.

Sometimes I set myself up for a problem.

I like drama.

It gets the adrenalin pumping.

Sue me.

No. Don’t sue me.

Just deal with it and read my blog.




But seriously people, us Zone two-ors pay over $120 a month to ride into center city each morning. PLEASE for the love of God, add some more cars! I RARELY get to sit down on my commute to work. Okay, Okay. Do I appreciate that I save like $25 a month by not having a parking spot- sure who doesn’t like to save $25? But this isn’t some graceful train we’re talking about. You know those like fancy ones in Europe or Asia or something.

Septa’s cars are rocky. They are unpredictable. They speed up and slow down, turn on a dime!

Do you KNOW how clumsy I am? Do you KNOW how clumsy I am in heels?

What’s that? Wear sneakers on commute? Like Melanie Griffith in Working Girl?

HELL NO, this is not 1988 and I am not trying to date Harrison Ford, even if he’s down for a chick in some sneaks.


So friends, I will leave you with one question:
Have you hugged a Septa driver today?

Apprently you had to go to an Ivy League college to write comedy.

Mindy Kaling’s book is hilarious. Read it. Go out and buy it. Download it to your kindle. Whatever, just read it.

However, and don’t hate me, but for Mindy being a writer, it’s not really written that well. Maybe it’s because I was expecting more of a memoir. I’m obsessed with memoirs. But Mindy’s book is written more like a blog- a hilarious and thoughtful piece of work- but a blog nonetheless. I guess it’s considered an “essay”.

Who knows?

I’ve been talking about writing a book for the last like four years. I always joke I want to write a memoir about my family, but If I could write a book, in blog style, like Mindy Kaling, and have it sell, I’d be pumped.

But, Mindy’s book did inspire me to get back into blogging. For real this time. Right, right, I know what you’re thinking. I understand I constantly apologize for my mini hiatuses, but this time, NO SIR. I’m not apologizing.

I also recognize that blogging is egotistical, especially when it’s about NOTHING and I expect at least my 3 loyal followers to read it (hi guys!)and live by it, and then text me immediately after posting it to tell me how hilarious I am. I am hilarious.

Awesome.

Instead of an apology, I will leave you with a short list of things I like and dislike. I’ve been really into making mental lists. I've also become increasingly aware of things that annoy the shit out of me.

Things I love:
-Growing my own produce
-Puppies
-Drawing pictures that look like they’re stencils

Things that I dislike:
-Couples that work out together
-Couples that make out post work out
-Couples that fight on the train from NY to Philadelphia and sit right next to me and make it hard for me to even hear my music over their bickering.

Happy Monday!