Apprently you had to go to an Ivy League college to write comedy.

Mindy Kaling’s book is hilarious. Read it. Go out and buy it. Download it to your kindle. Whatever, just read it.

However, and don’t hate me, but for Mindy being a writer, it’s not really written that well. Maybe it’s because I was expecting more of a memoir. I’m obsessed with memoirs. But Mindy’s book is written more like a blog- a hilarious and thoughtful piece of work- but a blog nonetheless. I guess it’s considered an “essay”.

Who knows?

I’ve been talking about writing a book for the last like four years. I always joke I want to write a memoir about my family, but If I could write a book, in blog style, like Mindy Kaling, and have it sell, I’d be pumped.

But, Mindy’s book did inspire me to get back into blogging. For real this time. Right, right, I know what you’re thinking. I understand I constantly apologize for my mini hiatuses, but this time, NO SIR. I’m not apologizing.

I also recognize that blogging is egotistical, especially when it’s about NOTHING and I expect at least my 3 loyal followers to read it (hi guys!)and live by it, and then text me immediately after posting it to tell me how hilarious I am. I am hilarious.

Awesome.

Instead of an apology, I will leave you with a short list of things I like and dislike. I’ve been really into making mental lists. I've also become increasingly aware of things that annoy the shit out of me.

Things I love:
-Growing my own produce
-Puppies
-Drawing pictures that look like they’re stencils

Things that I dislike:
-Couples that work out together
-Couples that make out post work out
-Couples that fight on the train from NY to Philadelphia and sit right next to me and make it hard for me to even hear my music over their bickering.

Happy Monday!

Sexy Farmer Look

I'm just gonna jump right out and say it. I know you're all thinking it. THANK GOD my blogs are back. Here we go,


I wish I could explain to the world how Fox's show the New Girl is loosely based on my life. The amount I can relate to Jess, the main character played by Zooey Deschanel, is unbelievable. Whether its her complete inability to have any type of game when it comes to guys, not being able to say the word "penissst" (I prefer "pee-pee boy", or thinking overalls make her look like a "sexy farmer", it never stops surprising me how similar we are.

Compare:

Zooey sporting overalls, heels and librarian glasses,



or... me sporting a white undershirt and jean cut offs 2 sizes to big, actually farming...




Who makes the sexier farmer? You decide. But I think we all know the answer.

I lost my flyers virginity

Yesterday was a big day for me...

I went to my first flyers game ever and experienced every single aspect of a hockey game in one night!! Well.. almost ever aspect, except the ONE part I wanted to see, a fight. Sighh... even though there was no fight, it was a really awesome time:

Since my friend mike's fam has these great seats right behind the penalty box, we got to experience hockey players, pucks and penalties at a range I never would have imagined. Then, thanks to my fancy connections as well, we were able to spend most of the second period getting free beers and gourmet (well.. that could be a stretch) food in a suite thanks to a friend of mine- seriously like the best suite in the stadium, center ice... court.. field? what is it called?

As if experiencing my first flyers game from 2 incredible angles wasn't enough, we had several photo-shoots by Print Room Photo Services - you know the guys that walk around with cameras hoping you'll go online and buy the photo instead of just taking the screen shot- thanks for getting that screen shot jo!

The BEST part of the night (YEAH IT GETS EVEN BETTER) which goes beyond discovering it was Dollar Dog Night (which made me love my first flyers experience THAT much more- we all know hot dogs are my favorite meal) but on top of THAT some dude made it RAIN wieners!!! Seriously, we caught on film what will make all of us who attended the game, YouTube celebrities, or atleast the guy we were filming a local celebrity (delluuuusssionnalll???)- which if ANY of you know ANY thing about me, its that I want NOTHING more than to become a youTube star and then get a web redemption with Daniel Tosh, where he falls madly in love with me and we will run off into the Hollywood Hills together... yup.

Check it out.






Peace. Love. Oscar Mayer.